I have lived in Utah my whole life. I have lived all over Utah, but never in a different state. So when we moved to Texas it was a whole new world for me. First off the food is amazing, you could eat at a new restaurant every day of the year, and never eat at the same place twice. The people are so nice unless they are driving. And overall the weather down here is fantastic. The heat really isn’t even that bad. 

These are things I have learned over the one year I have lived here. One thing that took me a minute to catch onto is you have to call people ma’am and sir. In the West, this is something that is not used. It makes people feel old. If you call a man sir he will say something about his dad being a sir, but not him. If you use ma’am you basically called that woman an old lady, no matter her age. Here in Texas, it is used as a sign of respect and that you are listening. You answer the phone with it. You say goodbye with it. Basically, if you don’t say sir or ma’am at least once when you speak to someone, you did it wrong. I have started to conform to this one, although it took a few tries. 

When we moved into our apartment  it was a rough experience. A few people came up to us and told us this we the worst place to live ever. One woman tried to sell Bryce drugs, as she was carrying her cop gear up the stairs. And we realized that the neighborhood we chose wasn’t the best. Although in our defense it is hard to scope out a neighborhood from another state. We pressed on and did our best to make it feel like home. And always kept both deadbolts locked, just in case. 

After we got settled, we found out that Bryce would not be joining the January cadet class. It was a bit of a shock. We had put all of our eggs into that one basket, so to speak. So when it fell through we were a little lost for what to do. I had just transferred within my company, so I still had a job. Bryce, however, had to go out into the world and find a temporary job until we figured out what we would do next. 

The disqualification email she received said she had the option to appeal. Via a letter snail-mailed into the their office. I am not sure why she couldn’t reply to the email, but we followed the instructions and filed for an appeal. Bryce found a job at a local gym in the meantime. Then three agonizing months went by with no word. We were honestly concerned they never got her letter, but we waited it out. There was still time to join the April class. She finally received a phone call asking her if she still really wanted to appeal. She said yes and they scheduled her appeal date for the next week. 

Before the hearing, she was informed that there would be three possible outcomes: the decision to disqualify her would be overturned and she would go back into the application process right where she left off, the decision would stand and she could reapply in a year, or she would be banned from ever applying for this department ever again. The last outcome was a little scary, but what was our other option? So she went ahead with the hearing.

Have you moved to another state? Do you know someone trying to become a LEO? Love Texas as well? Leave a comment below so we can talk about it.

I never thought I would be a “cop wife.” I grew up thinking I would marry someone who was outdoorsy, or worked in an office doing something boring on a computer. Okay, none of that is true because I never day dreamed about what Prince Charming would do for a living. I just wanted him to hot. Looking back, I didn’t see myself as the type to marry someone with such a high-risk career. I was the risk-taker. I wanted to travel the world and trying everything I could. I got into trouble and broke rules on purpose. In hindsight, another reason to not marry a cop, they are after all,  the rule keepers. 

However, here I am engaged to someone who is in the police academy, and I am not sure how I got there. When I first met my fiance, she told me that she wanted to become a federal agent. My first thought was, how can I convince her to take me with her when she inevitably has to move all over the world? I wanted to keep her in my life forever. How could I make that happen if the FBI ships her off to Prague? I was so naive in my thoughts on how the system worked. I thought she would graduate college and apply and be flown away to a far off place. I soon learned that was not the case at all. You have a get in on the ground level, pay your dues, and move up. I learned that the best place to start is as a police officer. 

After a few weeks of very close friendship, I somehow convinced her she wanted to marry me. We lesbians move fast after all. We got engaged in July of 2018 and moved to Houston in January of 2019. That is where our journey with her becoming a cop began. Well, it actually began in August of 2018, when Bryce applied to a department in Houston, Texas. We wanted to move away from Utah and thought this was the perfect opportunity. In September of 2018, Bryce flew to Texas to do her testing for the department. 

This was an eye-opener for me. I had no idea it was so hard to get hired by a police department. After the whole process of applying and all that paperwork, she then had to fly to Houston and do a Physical Training Exam as well as a written test. Then she went through an interview, psychological exam, medical exam, and polygraph exam. All of which was done in the span of four days. This was very stressful, she was told she passed everything and was sent home while her background investigation was being conducted. This consisted of the BI (background investigator) calling everyone she knew as well as her references. They even called me to ask me questions about her. After all was said and done her BI sent her paperwork up to the chief. At this point we had already moved to Texas in anticipation of her starting with the January class. 

A week later she received an email telling her she had been disqualified. This was a very hard blow. After all, we had moved out here for her to join this specific cadet class. This is the point  where we came to learn that getting into a police department took a few tries. So here we were in a new state, her with no job and no lead of what to do next. It was the beginning of a long road to her becoming a police cadet.